Endgame
by Iphigenie
Summary: MASSIVE ENDGAME SPOILER! DO NOT read if you have not seen Endgame yet! Oneshot about the events in Endgame


The funeral was over. The guests had left and Pepper had taken Morgan back to the house to eat something and then to get to bed. 

Steve looked at the pretty, old farmhouse in which Tony had lived with his family. Tonight his daughter would go to sleep without her father telling her a goodnight story. Tony would never again tuck his beloved daughter into bed. Steve turned his head to clear his thoughts as he let his gaze wander over the lake. It was getting late and the evening sun was casting long shadows across the water. The wreath was still peacefully floating over the water. "Proof that Tony Stark has a heart" Steve had read the letters on this first arc reactor that Tony had built in an Afghan cave fifteen years ago. He had never spoken about his time as prisoner of the Ten Rings and Steve had never asked any questions about these three months that turned him into Iron Man. Now he wished he had. Only now, at the end of their common path, did Steve begin to understand what guilt and fear must have driven his friend all those years. Tony was a genius, an inventor. He invented, he reinvented, including himself. Everything he ever did had the sole purpose to protect the earth and the people he loved. Steve remembered their first meeting. 

"You better stop pretending to be a hero", he had told Tony. „All you fight for is yourself." How he regretted his harsh words now. How wrong Steve had been! Tony had flown into the wormhole without hesitation to ward of the Chitauri army and for a horrible second the Avengers had thought they would have lost their Iron Man forever. All Steve had been able to think about then was that he would never be able to apologize for his thoughtless words. He still remembered the relief he had felt when the genius had survived his mission. Tony and Steve became a team and, slowly, grudgingly, friends. The accusations and quarrels when they had first met were forgotten. But Steve never apologized. 

He had been wrong so many times where Tony Stark was concerned. Tony was so different from every other person he knew that he never knew how to act around him. Tony was irritating and most of the time Steve could not tell if the other man was making fun of him or if he was actually serious. He had only seen the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropists that Tony preferred to show the world but Steve had missed the most important fact about him. That Tony Stark was the toughest, most stubborn and bravest person he had ever met. Even without his suit. Tony fought to the last for the people he loved and he did not give up, no matter what it might cost him. Steve had never properly acknowledged that fact about his friend. He never told Tony how much he respected him or how much he valued his friendship. And now it was too late. Tony Stark, Iron Man was gone. He was dead and with him the Avengers as they had been had died and also a part of Steve. 

He lowered his head and felt the tears threatening to spill over. The loss of Tony had torn a deep wound into the world, a wound that would never fully heal. Tony Stark had been the heart and soul of the Avengers and nothing would ever be the same again. The story of the Avengers had begun with him and it had ended with Tony's death. Tony Stark was brilliant and amazing and no one would ever be able to replace him. In this he was better than Steve ever had been. Steve tried to swallow the lump in his throat. 

"Damn it, Tony", he whispered. "What are we going to do without you?" He heard steps behind him and turned his head. Peter Parker crossed the garden as he walked towards the other man. Steve could see how uncomfortable the boy felt in his black suit and he walked slowly, as if he lacked the energy to be his normal cheerful self. His happy, carefree smile was gone, instead Peter's lashes were glistening with tears he cried for his lost mentor. Tony had surprised Steve when he had started to look after the boy. Steve would not have thought of him as a father figure but that was just one of the many mistakes he had made when it came to Tony Stark. Peter's loss after the Snap had hit Tony the hardest. He almost destroyed himself over the guilt and grief he felt because he had not been able to protect the boy. He had proven how far he was prepared to go to save those he loved when he sacrificed himself. Steve would never be able to show Tony how he regretted his false perception of the older man or how much he wished he could undo every argument and every fight between them. There was no going back, no chance of rescue now. The wreath in the lake was all that was left of Tony Stark. 

Steve took a deep breath and blinked to hold back the tears. He forced himself to smile as he looked at Peter who stopped standing next to him. "Aunt May asks if you want to come with us back to the city", Peter said. He was pale and his voice was shaking. The funeral had hit the boy harder than he wanted to show and Steve knew that he was thinking the same as him. Tony, who was lying broken and bleeding on the ground, Tony, who could not talk anymore and just looked at them silently, while the spark in his eyes slowly went out. Tony, who gave his life for theirs without hesitation no matter how scared he must have been, Tony who even in death was still smiling to make his passing easier for everyone else. What did he think when he realised what he had to do? He must have been sad and scared and angry. Morgan … He had a daughter whom he now would never see grow up. Steve cleared his throat to fight down a sob. All he could hope was that Tony had not felt alone in his last moments. Though probably one always had to face the end alone … 

"Sir?" he heard Peter's shy voice and Steve shook his head to keep his emotions in check. "Thank you", he said politely. "I'll stay here for a while longer and then return by myself." Peter nodded. He followed Steve's gaze. "I can't believe he's really gone", he said softly. "Me too", Steve agreed. "I wish I could have done something", Peter said and Steve could hear the self-loathing in his voice. "That we could have saved him, that Mr. Stark would not have had to make this sacrifice." He lowered his head and Steve knew that he was crying. "I miss him!" Peter sobbed. "I miss him so much!" "Hey!" Steve gently put a hand on the boy's thin shoulder. "What happened, Tony's … death …" he stumbled over the word, "It was not your fault! You did everything you could. There was nothing you could have done to change what happened. If Tony were here now he would tell you the same thing! You were great and he knew it." Peter nodded and wiped his face with a sleeve of his suit. "He believed in me", he said weakly. "He did", Steve assured him. Peter drew a shaky breath. "I don't know how I can live in a world without Tony Stark, without Iron Man", he said, his voice sounding like his heart would break. 

"Me neither", Steve admitted. "Tony was unique in every way. No one will ever be able to replace him. He was Iron Man." And he would never see him again. Never again would he feel Tony's half mocking, half admiring stare on him, never again would Tony mock Steve for not understanding a pop culture reference and never again would he talk to him. Tony would never again make him smile with his sharp wit and his sarcastic comments. The realisation of truly and irrevocably having lost Tony Stark hit Steve harder than any punch and he felt his heart contract painfully. Only Peter standing next to him kept him from breaking down at the shore. 

"It was my job to save him", Steve said out loud what had tormented him ever since Tony's death. "His death is on me. I should have been by his side to share his burden." Maybe Tony would still be alive if Steve had been strong enough to help him. "No trust! Liar!" Tony's words tasted like bile in Steve's mouth. They never had the time to talk about their fight. Steve could only hope that Tony had forgiven him. 

"I failed him", Steve said with self-disgust. "He needed me and I wasn't there, he said so himself. If I would have listened to him, maybe things would have turned out different." Peter looked at him silently. "He believed in you", he said thoughtfully. Steve raised his head, surprised. "Always, even when you weren't talking to each other. He knew that you would be by his side when he needed you that he could count on you. Whatever happened between you two, he always trusted you." Steve smiled sadly. "Unfortunately that wasn't enough." There were those damn tears again and this time Steve could not hold them back. He was surprised when he felt Peter slip his hand into the other man's. 

"He would not want us to be sad", he said softly. Steve had to laugh through the tears. "No, you are right. Tony would probably make some sarcastic comment if he could see us now." Peter chuckled despite his grief. "Yeah, he would." For a moment, both of them were silent. Steve took a deep breath. "We will move on", he said slowly. "We will never forget Tony Stark! We will keep his memory alive and make sure that his sacrifice will not have been for nothing." Nothing could bring Tony back, but at least they could do that. Peter nodded. "We will do that!" he said resolutely. They would never stop mourning Tony Stark. Nothing could ever dampen his loss. But Steve promised himself that they would do everything to make Tony proud of them. He silently vowed to honour Tony's legacy as he followed Peter back to the peaceful house where Tony should have lived a quiet life with his family. Tony could rest in peace and he would never be forgotten.


End file.
